you choose Q: how can I slow down a romantic relationship without triggering negative emotions?
Q: How can I effectively prevent triggering fear and insecurity of losing a fairly new relationship with man who wants to rush things? I am encouraging "waiting on God's timing," but am not able to effectively communicate it without triggering negative emotions. —J
A: Great question. It has a lot of complex parts to unpack—something we can’t do completely in this…
wrestling with God
Often, on Saturdays in the 1980s, my brother and I watched professional wrestling on TV. We were mesmerized by the acrobatics and the seemingly super-human body slams that shook the wrestling ring. We rooted for the good guys and pointed at the screen exclaiming things like “Did you see that?” and “Ooooh, that had to hurt!” Fortunately, we did not try (many of) those moves at home.
you choose Q: what advice would you give to a single person who's feeling lonely at church?
Q: What advice would you give a person who is the only single person in her entire church and is feeling left out and lonely? —Lisa
A: A single person is popularly defined as “one who is above 30 and unmarried.” I would prefer to see a single as “any person who is not in a marital relationship.” This would include…
idols of affection
In the final scene of the movie, the leading man—eyes brimming with tears—summarized his life to his girlfriend: no friends, no job, and a shady past. He had no family ties, no apparent faith in God. He really had only one thing—the love of his favorite girl, and he vowed lifelong devotion to her. To make her happy, he had refrained from violence, remained monogamous, and had stopped using certain unsavory words. Everything he did and planned to do revolved around the beautiful starlet he’d fallen for.
faith & marriage
Family members pleaded with him not to marry. But the young man wouldn’t listen. What was the family’s concern? He was a believer in Jesus; she was not. They knew that the union would dishonor God and that the two would face struggles due to disunity. They were right. One year after they walked the aisle, the couple divorced.
May 28, 2013
What is the best advice you would give to a couple who are getting married?
true love
When I stopped by a nearby restaurant to pick up some food, a guy and a girl standing in the parking lot caught my attention. Their arms linked together, the guy craftily reached to place his hand between her legs. My heart sank, and I began to pray that they know the beauty of glorifying God with their bodies (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).
you choose Q: I've fallen in love with an unbeliever . . . what should I do?
Q: I've fallen in love with an unbeliever, but I know it's wrong. What should I do? —Keliya
A: Keliya, your heart is obviously torn in two over this relationship. On one hand, you're strongly drawn to a young man. This is understandable, for—as a human being—he bears the image of our Creator God. Apparently, your boyfriend also possesses some qualities that…
after the honeymoon
The honeymoon is over. Life is settling back to routine—a new one. Now you have a partner to live with. It’s no longer just about your preferences and habits. You need to learn to tango with him or her in a new paradigm. That’s where we start stepping on each other’s toes. And that’s where Song of Solomon 5:2-3 comes in.
my sister wisdom
My twin sister and I are very close. We attended the same schools, and we share many things in common—same room, same wardrobe, and—most importantly—same faith. Aside from God, no one knows me better than she does.
sacred flames
In November 2011, Mike and Nancy Rogers were married as the lodge in which they were supposed to be wed burned to the ground behind them. The blaze destroyed the beautiful building—including a kitchen, conference center, pool, and guesthouses—as the wedding party retreated to another building for the ceremony. The wedding gifts and flowers were destroyed, but Nancy said, “We lost all that stuff, but that’s not important to us. We got the most important things.”
no-sex week
For several years, Yale University—an elite institution in the US—allowed students to engage in an annual 7-day sexual frenzy known as Sex Week at Yale. The week included “prominently featured titillating displays, [porn] film stars, and commercial sponsors of such material.” But a campus group called Undergraduates for a Better Yale College rose up and challenged Sex Week, declaring that…
you choose Q: what about being married to a nonbeliever?
Q: I would like to get more information on being married to a nonbeliever. —Mary
A: If you are asking if it is permissible for a Christian to marry a nonbeliever, then the answer is no. The Bible makes it clear that our marriage partner must be a believer in Jesus (2 Corinthians 6:14-16), one who “loves the Lord” (1 Corinthians…
holy imagination
In his book The Johns, Victor Malarek reveals the motivations of men who buy the services of prostitutes. In most cases, pornography precedes the transaction. The men watch porn, fantasize about the experience they want, then find a woman who will act out what they desire. The deed follows the fantasy.
Many of us may start thinking how “sick” such…
